Oy vey. This past week has been a long, tough one. It started off with baby G getting sick. Just a typical winter bad cold/flu type deal. More of a cold than anything. But it sucked, and needless to say she didn’t take it very well. Think no naps, and up NUMEROUS (6-10x) times per night, after bedtime. Then, around Wednesdayish when she finally starts feeling noticeably better, I start to get sick. Started with a sore throat, which I noticed right away on day one because I work on the phone, so I’m on there nonstop for a few hours a day. Day Two, and I awoke with close to no voice. Spent two days croaking out my work calls. Today, (my one day off for another week) I was truly hoping to spend recovering, as this definitely is the worst of the sick days so far. But, with an active baby that stayed up from 7-4 with no naps until about ten minutes ago, rest of any sort is kind of out the window.
I’ve said this will be an honest blog, and this is an honest recap of what it’s like when a single mother gets sick. And, it SUCKS. You have -0 energy. None. All your daydreams are about going the ##*&$ to sleep. You have virtually no chance of resting, unless it’s at nap times or after your child goes to sleep. And even then, there’s about a 2.5-3 hourish window between her bedtime & mine, and I’m always either spending that time working, doing housework, or tackling whatever else needs doing. Because it’s not like there’s anyone else around to ask to help. And I won’t lie, that is extra annoying. To know I have family members nearby that swore up & down that they’d be around to help if ever needed, yet in about a year of being a single parent I’ve never even had anyone offer up an hour of their time to grab a nap. Even when I’m noticeably ill.
But what do you do? Venting about it on the blog helps a bit, but in reality all you can do is trudge on and know that eventually things will be easier.
Another thing I’ll rant about?
Friends. Or should I say, “Friends.” The truest statement I have ever heard is “Have a baby and see who’s still around after.” Definitely to the point. And sadly, I realized that out of the handful of true friends I thought I had, only one or two were really what anyone could characterize as a friend, these days. In fact, let’s play out a scenario from this weekend. I asked an old bestie to hang out this weekend. She has a little girl, and her daughter just adores mine. So I texted, maybe mid-week, asking to hang. She agreed, and I get a text around 7:30 Saturday night.
Her: “Let’s go to the bar, Man! Let’s do it up. Come on over here.”
Me: No can do pal, Sorry.
Her: WHAT?! WHY NOT!
Me: No babysitter. I’d need a lot more of a heads up than 7pm the night of.
Her: Your mom won’t watch her?
Me: You know my mom… gotta ask at least a week in advance. And anyone else I’d trust enough to watch my baby would probably already be at your house tonight.
Her: Just find someone to watch her.
Me: Unlike you, I don’t just pawn off my child on whoever is willing to accept her on that day. It’s either someone I know and trust, or I’m home with baby. That’s just how it is.
Her: Whatever. You’re the one who said you wanted to hang out. Way to ruin everyones night.
Me: Yes, I said let’s hang out, as in us and our children.
Her: Call me when you can get drunk.
I need some new friends. Preferably some mom friends. Because once you’re a parent, it just feels like anyone else who isn’t a parent as well just doesn’t get it. And even some people that are parents, don’t get it! Like the above mentioned girl in this post. But I can’t get too upset, because this is coming from some broad that only sees her kid maybe an hour or two each day (on a good day!), and the rest of the time her child is with her mom, grandma, friends, anyone who will take her so that her mother can do what she feels like doing. That’s not the type of mother I am, and never will be. My daughter will ALWAYS come first, no matter what type of fun adult night is going on elsewhere.
Hack hack, cough cough. Til Next Time.